Answer: TEN.

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb
needs to be changed;

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for
changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for a
new light bulb;

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner “Bulb Accomplished”;

7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally “in the dark” the whole time;

8. One to viciously smear #7;

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb-changing policy all along;

10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

And, after all is said and done, no one will be able to do anything
about the fact that they never even actually managed to change the light bulb.

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.”

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.”

Cheney added, “That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, “Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.”

Throughout his four-plus years in office, President Bush has said some stupid things. So many so, in fact, that they’ve garnered their own term: Bushisms. Some Bushisms fly in the face of standard grammar and usage: “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” Or this gem, “Will the highways on the Internet become more few?” And who could forget this winner: “We ought to make the pie higher.”

While Bush has most certainly raised the pie higher when it comes to malapropisms, he has also made statements making him look not only grammatically challenged, but also intellectually stunted. To wit: “You can look inside in the truck, and you don’t even have to get in it. That’s called technology. And it’s working. It makes a big difference.”

While the above either leave you laughing or shaking your head, it’s the new genre of Bushism – a far more dangerous strain – that isn’t leaving the world in stitches.

So without further ado, I present to you five examples of the new Bushism. Call them what you want – ignorant, criminally negligent, insane – but do note that when Bush opens his mouth, you can be sure someone, somewhere, is going to pay the price for his statements: